Hedgehogs Don't Eat Hamburgers Read online

  Vivian French

  Illustrated by Chris Fisher

  PUFFIN

  PUFFIN BOOKS

  Published by the Penguin Group

  Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

  Penguin Group (USA), Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA

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  Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty) Ltd, 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank 2196, South Africa

  Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

  www.penguin.com

  First published 1993

  17

  Text copyright © Vivian French, 1993

  Illustrations copyright © Chris Fisher, 1993

  All rights reserved

  The moral right of the author and illustrator has been asserted

  Except in the United States of America, this book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, re-sold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser

  British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data

  A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

  ISBN: 978-0-14-194156-1

  Contents

  Hedgehogs Don’t Eat Hamburgers

  The Hedgehogs’ Song

  HEDGEHOGS DON’T EAT HAMBURGERS

  Hector saw a picture on a paper bag.

  “What’s that?” he asked.

  “That’s a hamburger,” said his dad.

  “Can I have one for my tea?” asked Hector.

  “No,” said his dad. “Hedgehogs don’t eat hamburgers.”

  “I do,” said Hector. “And I’m going to go and find one for my tea.”

  Hector set off to find a hamburger.

  “Here I go, here I go, here I go,” he sang as he walked along.

  Hattie popped out to see who was going by.

  “Hello,” said Hector. “I’m going to find my tea.”

  “Would you like some fine fat snails?” Hattie asked.

  “No thank you,” said Hector.

  “I’m going to find a hamburger.”

  “Hedgehogs don’t eat hamburgers,” said Hattie.

  “I do,” said Hector.

  “Oh,” said Hattie. “Maybe I’ll come too.”

  So she did.

  Hector and Hattie set off to find a hamburger.

  “Here we go, here we go, here we go,” they sang as they walked along.

  Harry popped out to see who was going by.

  “Hello,” said Hector. “We’re going to find my tea.”

  “Would you like some slow slimy slugs?” Harry asked. “I’ve got plenty.”

  “No thank you,” said Hector.

  “I’m going to find a hamburger.”

  “Hedgehogs don’t eat hamburgers,” said Harry.

  “I do,” said Hector.

  “Oh,” said Harry. “Maybe I’ll come too.”

  So he did.

  Hector and Hattie and Harry set off to find a hamburger.

  “Here we go, here we go, here we go,” they sang as they walked along.

  Hester popped out to see who was going by.

  “Hello,” said Hector. “We’re going to find my tea.”

  “Would you like some big black beetles?” Hester asked. “I’ve got lots.”

  “No thank you,” said Hector.

  “I’m going to find a hamburger.”

  “Hedgehogs don’t eat hamburgers,” said Hester.

  “I do,” said Hector.

  “Oh,” said Hester. “Maybe I’ll come too.”

  So she did.

  Hector and Hattie and Harry and Hester set off to find a hamburger.

  “Here we go, here we go, here we go,” they sang as they walked along.

  Fox popped out to see who was going by.

  “Hello,” said Hector. “We’re going to find my tea.”

  “Tea, eh?” said Fox. “What a good idea.” He looked at the fat little hedgehogs, and he licked his lips.

  “I’m going to find a hamburger,” said Hector.

  “WHAT a good idea,” said Fox. “Shall I show you the way?”

  “YES PLEASE,” said Hector.

  Hector and Hattie and Harry and Hester set off after Fox.

  “Here we go, here we go, here we go,” they sang as they walked along.

  “SSSHHH!” said Fox.

  “Oh,” said Hector and Hattie and Harry and Hester.

  They walked up the hill and down the hill.

  “Are we nearly there?” asked Hector.

  “Nearly,” said Fox. He sniffed the air. “Yes, we’re nearly there.”

  Hector sniffed the air too. “What is it?” he asked.

  “That’s the smell of the town,” said Fox. “That’s where the hamburgers are.”

  “Oh,” said Hector. He sniffed the air again. He could smell cars, and smoke, and shops, and houses. He could smell danger. “Maybe I don’t want a hamburger today. Maybe I’ll have big black beetles, or slow slimy slugs, or fine fat snails. Maybe hedgehogs don’t eat hamburgers after all.”

  Hector turned round, and Hattie and Harry and Hester all turned round too.

  “Here we go, here we go, here we go!” they sang.

  “JUST A MINUTE,” said Fox, and he opened his mouth wide. His teeth were sharp and white. “What about MY tea?”

  “YOU can have a hamburger,” said Hector.

  “But I don’t WANT a hamburger,” said Fox. “I want little fat HEDGEHOGS!” And he jumped at Hector and Hattie and Harry and Hester.

  “HERE WE GO, HERE WE GO, HERE WE GO,” sang all four little hedgehogs, and they rolled themselves up tightly into four prickly balls.

  “OWWWW!” said Fox as he hurt his nose. “OW! OW! OW!” He turned round and ran up the hill and down the hill. He didn’t stop running until he got home to his mummy.

  Hector and Hattie and Harry and Hester looked at each other.

  “Let’s go home,” said Hector.

  So they all set off to go home.

  “Home we go, home we go, home we go,” they sang as they walked up the hill and down the hill. And they got home just in time to have fine fat snails, slow slimy slugs and big black beetles for their tea.

  THE HEDGEHOGS’ SONG

  The sun was going down in the sky, and the birds were singing their last songs. Hector was singing too.

  “SSSH!” said his dad.

  “What are you doing?” asked Hector.

  “Listening,” said his dad.

  “Oh,” said Hector. “What for?”

  “I’m listening for things that wriggle,” said his dad.

  “Things that wriggle are sometimes big and sometimes little. Sometimes they are dangerous, but sometimes they are good to eat. Wriggly white grubs are VERY good to eat.”

  “Shall I sing you my song?” asked Hector. “Then you can listen to me instead. It’s a song about Big Bad Badger.”

  “Hush!” said his dad. “You must always be polite to Badger, or he might fancy YOU for his tea.”

  “Not me,” said Hector. “I’m MUCH too clever.”

  Hector went to see Hattie. Hattie w
as sitting under a beech tree, where the dry leaves lay thickly on the ground.

  “What are you doing?” he asked.

  “Listening,” said Hattie.

  “Oh,” said Hector. “What for?”

  “I’m listening for things that rustle,” said Hattie. “Things that rustle are sometimes big and sometimes little. Sometimes they are dangerous, but sometimes they are good to eat.”

  “Shall I sing you my song?” Hector said. “Then you can listen to me instead.”

  “All right,” said Hattie.

  Hector sang,

  “Big bad badger

  Looking for his tea.

  Pull his tail, make him wail

  One two three!”

  “That’s nice,” said Hattie. “Let’s go and sing it to Harry.”

  Hector and Hattie went to see Harry. Harry was sitting under a bramble bush, where the blackberries grew.

  “What are you doing?” they asked.

  “Listening,” said Harry.

  “Oh,” said Hector. “What for?”

  “I’m listening for things that creep,” said Harry. “Things that creep are sometimes big and sometimes little. Sometimes they are dangerous, but sometimes they are good to eat.”

  “Shall we sing you a song?” asked Hector. “Then you can listen to us instead.”

  “All right,” said Harry.

  So Hector and Hattie sang their song.

  “That’s nice,” said Harry, when they had finished singing. “Let’s go and sing it to Hester.”

  Hector and Hattie and Harry went to see Hester. Hester was standing near an old stone wall.

  “What are you doing?” they asked.

  “Listening,” said Hester.

  “Oh,” said Hector. “What for?”

  “I’m listening for things that slither,” said Hester. “Things that slither are sometimes big and sometimes little. Sometimes they are dangerous, but sometimes they are good to eat.”

  “Shall we sing you a song?” asked Hector. “Then you can listen to us instead.”

  “All right,” said Hester.

  So Hector and Hattie and Harry sang their song.

  “That’s nice,” said Hester. “Let’s go and sing it while we walk through the woods.”

  Hector and Hattie and Harry and Hester sang as they walked through the woods.

  “Big bad badger

  Looking for his tea.

  Pull his tail, make him wail

  One two three!”

  They walked under the beech trees, where the dry leaves lay thick on the ground. Big things and little things rustled in the leaves, but Hector and Hattie and Harry and Hester didn’t hear them.

  They walked under the bramble bushes, where the blackberries grew. Big things and little things were creeping all around, but Hector and Hattie and Harry and Hester didn’t hear them.

  They walked along beside the old stone wall.

  Big things and little things slithered up and down it, but Hector and Hattie and Harry and Hester didn’t hear them.

  “Let’s sing our song to the birds,” said Hector.

  They climbed right up to the top of the wall and began to sing.

  “Big bad badger,” sang Hector and Hattie and Harry and Hester.

  Hester heard a noise, and looked down. “Oh!” she said, and stopped singing.

  “Looking for his tea,” sang Hector and Hattie and Harry.

  Hattie heard a noise, and looked down. “Oh!” she said, and stopped singing.

  “Pull his tail, make him wail,” sang Hector and Harry.

  Harry heard a noise and looked down. “Oh!” he said, and stopped singing.

  “ONE TWO THREE!” sang Hector, at the top of his voice.

  “WHAT a noisy little hedgehog!” said a very loud voice from the bottom of the wall.

  “OH!” said Hector. “OH!… Hello, Mr Badger.”

  Badger looked up at Hector and Hattie and Harry and Hester.

  “I’m very fond of a song,” he said. “Sing your song to me.”

  “If you say so, Mr Badger,” said Hector.

  “I do,” said Badger. “And hurry up about it.”

  Hector began to sing.

  “Big brave badger

  Looking for his tea.

  Caught a snail, made it wail

  One two three!”

  “I see,” said Badger. “And are you sure that it wasn’t a silly little hedgehog that was caught?”

  Hector shook his head. “Not this time, Mr Badger,” he said.

  “And next time I’ll be looking out.”

  “Next time,” said Badger, “you might not be on the top of a wall.” And he turned and trotted away.

  “Phew!” said Hector.

  “I want to go home,” said Hattie.

  “Me too,” said Harry.

  “And me,” said Hester.

  “Shall we sing my song?” Hector asked.

  “NO!” said Hattie and Harry and Hester.

  They went home very quietly. They climbed back down the wall and they heard big and little things slithering beside them.

  They crept under the bramble bushes and they heard big things and little things creeping all around them.

  They tiptoed under the beech trees and they heard big things and little things rustling with them through the dry leaves.

  Hector’s dad was waiting for him. “You can sing your song to me now,” he said. “I’ve caught plenty of wriggly white grubs for our dinner.”

  “All right,” said Hector.

  He sang,

  “Clever little hedgehogs

  Looking all around.

  Tiptoe here and tiptoe there

  Never make a sound!”

  Hector went indoors to eat wriggly white grubs, and Hattie and Harry and Hester tiptoed all the way home.

 

 

  Vivian French, Hedgehogs Don't Eat Hamburgers

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